Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ramblings.

I can't believe we've been here for over two weeks. Time is really flying by. The first week here was pretty rough, adapting to a new place, new schedule for Carter and my mom working a ton. This past week has been the exact opposite. We've had such a great time and have gotten into a new little routine. Although it doesn't involve the gym for me, it does however involve a lot of beach and pool time, and that seems to be an ok substitute for us. I'm really enjoying the time with my mom. I know it's hard for our parents to be so far away from us and their grandchildren, and you really can't get to know grandchildren in just a few days. I'm so grateful that she's had so much time to really get to know him, and likewise, I'm glad that he now knows my mom and trusts her as well. We've seemed to avoided the normal tourists things while here and have really enjoyed the quieter beaches where more locals and families hang out. We've been able to shopping and out to lunch, two of my favorite things. :) Although, we're having a great time, it makes me a little sad to not have Mike here. I know he could use the vacation and would have a great time chasing Carter up and down the beach. I'm proud of him for sacrificing his time away from work to study. I just pray that all of these sacrifices will pay off and he'll pass this exam.

In the last two days the reality of having another child has really hit me. I know it seems strange that it's just now becoming a reality, but this happened last time with Carter too. I always feel better once I hit 24 weeks, something about the ability of the baby surviving if something were to happen gives me so much hope. The reality of all of this is hard to ignore with the growing tummy quickly outgrowing the pants I originally packed for our trip out here. I'm nervous to say the least. Carter and I are in a good routine, I feel like I can handle him and I love the one on one time I get with him. I'm afraid of the transition from one child to two. How is he going to adjust, how will I, and how will I be able to care for the new baby and him? It's also hard to think that he will be different than Carter, the new baby will look different and have a different personality. I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it. But at the same time I also have this emotion of such gratitude and peace that fills my spirit when I think about the blessing of having another child. I was just so grateful to have been blessed with Carter, it seems like a miracle to have gotten pregnant again and the possibility of having another sweet little spirit to join our family is an amazing feeling. It's hard not to be overwhelmed with the constant flow of mixed emotions hitting me, thanks to these pregnancy hormones. I hope and pray that our new little boy will make it to us, that he will be blessed with a healthy body and mind. Until then, I know I need to really cherish the time I have with Carter and look forward to the time I'll have with both of them.
Yesterday during the late afternoon while I was talking on the phone, Carter crawled onto my lap and snuggled with me, laying his head on my tummy, like he was listening for his little brother. This is so rare. Carter never stays still for long these days. It was such a wonderful feeling to have Carter snuggle, and to look down and see my growing belly and my little man together. Carter stretched his legs out and let me rub his belly and he fell asleep. This was one of those moments when you want to stop time. I just wanted to stay in that moment forever. I am so grateful to be a mother, to experience the miracle of pregnancy, of having a little spirit grow inside of me and to see our other child grow and develop into his own person.

Carter at the beach. When did he get so big?

Carter discovered the fun of the turtle outside of the pool. He carried it around all afternoon and took all of his toys over to it so he could sit in it and play. I almost caught this smile right on. They have these big chairs at the pool by the flowers and tons of butterflies floating around. He was a happy baby today.
Look- Bruise free! I think he's finally got the walking thing down and we've managed almost a month without a black eye or large bruise. You're looking good little man!


2 comments:

The Youngblood Family said...

You guys look like ya'll are having a blast. Carter is growing like a weed and he is such a cute little boy. The picture of you and him (and Dille Boy #2) is very sweet.

lynette said...

Carter's hair looks so light in that first pic. Glad to see you're enjoying your vacation!