Lately I seem to be too busy to really enjoy the now. I rush through each day with the usual to do lists with two little boys. I'm still somewhat in survivor mode and maybe because of this I don't take enough time to treasure the moments that are flying by. I don't take time to reflect and enjoy and in doing so I take for granted so many things.
I was reading blogs tonight when I should have been sleeping, but I needed some "me" time. So the first blog I read, Nei Nei, brought me to tears. Here is what caused my out pour of emotions...
This evening, Mr. Nielson finished up our wallpaper in the entry-way. It looks fantastic. As he was working a whiny Nicholas pulled on his pant leg repeating something over and over again. I could tell my sweet husband was getting frustrated and Nicholas sensed it as well. He started crying and that's when I came in. I told the little man to follow me to the couch where he climbed up and I gently PICKED HIM UP!! Folks, did you hear that!It was another personal wonder in my recovery book.It is a detail in a mothers life that seems very everyday, but for me, it kept me up at night after the accident. I couldn't see myself ever being able to do that again.He lay his head down on my bony shoulder as I walked around the house once.(maybe twice next week?!)After I couldn't hold the little cherub anymore, I sat down holding him. My heart nearly jumped out of my skin. I was so privately pleased with myself (and also because Nic is a very heavy kid).
... How can I each day take for granted all of the blessings that come with being both a wife and mother. I can pick both of my children up easily and I can care for them. Such a simple task that in all honesty sometimes seems like a chore with a toddler nipping at my feet when I am trying to cook dinner. But then I think how lucky I am to have a toddler wanting my attention. Wanting to be held, and snuggled, and wanting his mommy.
My favorite thing the past few days while my mom was in town has been waking up in the morning to hear Carter running into my room. He comes charging in intent on finding out where I am. He then reaches the side of my bed and pulls my covers back. With binkies in tow, he scales the log bed and climbs into bed with me. I pull the covers snugly over us both and hold my baby boy and stroke his hair. He reaches up, touches my face and jabbers something at me with a binkie in his mouth. We lay there and I am grateful to be his mommy and I am grateful for that moment.
Light The World: Day 17
5 hours ago